Friday, November 27, 2015

Stress outlet for this Fall

As the days are shorter, its colder and your bundling up more how does one continue to get their stress out? Well, sitting on the couch, eating and doing nothing isn't a really a good option. You need to look at the bigger picture here, especially going into Fall- you still have like 6 month of coldness upon us. There are still so many things to do to get through. Look into some new hobbies, look up new hikes in your area, enjoy the amazing foliage, bike the scenery and enjoy your area. Hiking, biking, hit up the trails, or just get out in your own area. I live right by the ocean, which is pretty amazing in itself. I live less than 5 minutes away from a tourist area, which for 8 months of the year I get it to myself and my dog. Enjoy the piece and quiet, take walks, runs, you name it. And just allow my brain to wander for a bit, while getting some exercise.

Sure its cold, bundle your butt up. Remember the colder it is, the more your body has to work to keep warm, so you will be doing yourself a service by getting out there. So get out there, hat, mittens, scarf, grab your exercise partner and snuggle up with some coffee. Burn those calories. For me, this is a great addition to my regular gym routine. Gym gets boring, winters can be long and hard in the Northeast, and times like this can be something you need to do to get out there. You need to make sure you get your stress out no matter what your doing, so while everyone is huddled up feeling like they are going to hibernate, get out there, get it done and keep active, moving, loving life. Your summer body will thank you as well as your BRAIN! So once that day is at an end, go back inside locate a nice cuddle buddy and watch some Netflix. Sex can do as well, especially if you can keep your activity levels up and your heat down. ;-)

Keep those stress levels down, stay calm and you too can have a stress free Fall.

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Power of staying Positive and Going with it.

Going with the flow and hoping to just continue with whatever design nature truly has for us. I guess this is something that truly had to learn more to go with. Life just isn't something that can be easy and many times you just want to just break down.

Everything in life has some sort of timing, whether its a timing of some craziness or even something out of the ordinary, its not something you can have control of. You can fall in and out of love with someone at anytime, or even find you were not meant for that person. As time ticks on, we tend to realize you just can't force certain things in life and our own wishes, desires, demands, don't just happen, they often have to take a back seat for a bit while we figure certain things out and make them happen since no one else is going to make them for us.

With every breathe you just need to learn to appreciate what life truly gives us, rather than just holding ourselves back. Screw the mold, screw the way everyone does things. You want something? Go for it. You want to go out on your own? Do it. The unfortunately part that way we think and act many times contradicts how things are normally acted upon. There is no way to control the universe. No way to control anything, anyone, you might think so, but there is no possibility to do this. So, what should we do? Stay positive no matter what. There are things in life that just happen, its just that easy. SHIT HAPPENS, you know that saying? Well, it does. People leave, people stop caring, loving, whatever, IT HAPPENS. Its life. With that you just have to go with the flow and make what you want out of whatever pieces fall. That smile, positivity with no matter what is going on can bring you far. Fighting and keeping in negativity, can't get you too far and unfortunately with that type of behavior affects everything around you.

Face your demons head on, I have. I come from nothing and I am never afraid to go back, I need no one and with that I KNOW I can do anything I set my mind at. Keeping that positivity in my back of my hand is what gets me far, while other will keep a more negative outlook and can actual infringe on their lives. What do you want in life? How do you want other to perceive you? Regardless of what you think you are, the truth always come out, so live accordingly, follow through and always live true to yourself. Life has a funny way coming back around no matter what is happening. So folks, stay positive, fck the negative and toss anyone out of your life that causes any issues. Life is truly too short for this. We aren't promised lots of time, and many times we are taken way too short from our loved ones, so show people how much you care for them, make the changes you need and never be around to make that positive step. There are no second chances and with a positive mind things can be more clear on a regular basis. What will you choose? I know what I truly want and truly am, as for others? That's their own journey, as for mine any stress/cortisol levels can cause increase of fat increase, which I rather not have. Hugs and kisses to any of my critics, but for this lucky, happy girl, although I might not have it all, I am actually going for it, working for it all, myself without anyone's help. And with that-that means more than anything unlike something given to someone. Positive life. Positive outlook is what I hope to teach. Cheers to everyone and off to locate some red wine. ;-)

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Post Body Blues

Its been a week or so since my contest. Peak week and day of your body is running on extremes. Either, over hydrated, under carbs, etc--than boom your body is perfect for like 5 seconds. I am trying to do this 100% naturally so these types of things, carb cycling, over hydrated are all ways to clear your system and bring your levels, as well as pop your abs and everything else you need to show. But here's the thing, you can't keep these levels on a daily basis, year round, for many reasons. For one I have a thyroid problem. When you bounce back and forth with your diet, fats, sugars and all of that you screw with it. This is why carb cycling works, your body starts to use the carbs and all of that more efficient and then BOOM pounds and fat melt off pretty quickly. Here's the deal though, you gotta be in THAT triad zone. And for a female, that's a level where you enter screwing with your actually cycle levels.

Regardless, I have gained 5 pounds since the contest, do I look it? Honestly no. I feel more filled in and better muscle definition in now, I felt pretty flat towards the end of the day of the contest with next to little or no water, fat or any other basic foods that I had to stop giving my body to make sure it didn't suck the muscle out of me. Have I learned from this experience? Yes, next time I will eat a little bit differently. But I need to understand, that the levels where I was at are not anything that can be kept year round, just is not healthy at all. I was weak, loss of energy and my mental capacity was at a all time low. It sucked. I love my body where it is, I hate being too skinny and I hate being too weak. I need the energy for my two jobs, taking care of people and everything else in my life. And for that you need food and the true workouts that my body is truly used to. Lifting heavy. Its quite funny in most sports arenas, you go into the ring with the best package and MOST strong and in bodybuildling you pretty much bring it down and show up very weak, looking like a hungry Ethiopian. Its just a funny outlook to see, its a learning experience, lots of fun and ran into a lot of great people.

A tell all.

I been pondering a lot lately. And I feel I have a lot to offer the world, especially my story and my future generation. There is a lot that is hidden from my audience at this time and I feel its got to come out. I was considering having some come out in around 17--18 years but, considering this is the time for things to come out, I am starting to write two books. One is for my nieces and a special little girl in my life, as well as a book surrounding my life. I have a lot of passion in my life, and there have been a lot of hurtful people that have tried to bring me down, especially on the internet. There are a lot of assholes out there and those people are very miserable people no matter what position they are in life. As for me, I am going to share it all and with that, I will have truly have nothing to hide, since I have nothing to be ashamed of at the end of the day. I am proud of whom I am and have never lied, although others around me have and walked away, which is their decision, but I can no longer keep completely quiet. Things will come out eventually and especially with a special life in this world that is on my side, there will be questions and I would like everything to be documented for her.
Life is a complicated thing, and there are no books on this, or even what to do. I am taking the bull my the horns and taking care of it on my own. I am not a sheep, I am a Lion. I don't need any one in my life or anyone's hold on me. I guess in a sense I am glad that certain people walked out on us, regardless one day some of these people will see what they have done and by then it will be too late. Life has a funny way on turning back around and the truth will always come out, its just that easy. And any strong willed person could see that. Until then, always go with your heart. Certain things will always come first and life--is a beautiful thing, especially ones that have been created out of craziness.

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Show Day.

Before I completely forget to blog about show day, here we go. I decided to stay up in Boston, since I live about 2 hours from the venue. I packed my meals with me, I ate chicken and a half cup of sweet potatoes every two hours from Friday until 12pm on Saturday. Saturday I couldn't drink a lot since you don't want to be too bloated and not to mention have to pee. Regardless this is how the day went.

500AM. I woke up to my alarm, slightly looked at it and went really? ITS TODAY.
510AM. I called my coach to tell her I was feeling and to get more instructions, regarding how much I needed to eat, tell her how I was feeling and to see how "full I looked." This was important since we need to know if I needed to EAT more to fill in the abs or even the ass, which are the important parts obviously. Mind you at this point I am literally dreading every bite I am eating of chicken and sweet potatoes, so when I see people eat anything else I want to rip their faces off.
545AM. I put my large sweat pants on and shirt on, clean off my face and start doing my hair (pin it in place) and doing my first layer of makeup, since I knew it be a crazy day going in/out of the dressing room, and dealing with a billion people throughout the day. Mind you the show for me I didn't walk on stage until 4pm.
725AM. Eating my second meal of the morning, than head over to breakfast with my friend, I watch him eat an amazing egg omlet, bacon and whatever else his greasy ass can get to. (slightly I am cursing him out and anyone around me eating anything.. ) Sigh, waitress keeps asking me if I would like anything but I know I can't eat anything of what they have not even a glass of I slightly tell her no and "sip" slowly on my coffee.
745AM. Head out to the venue, to get some parking.
815AM. Well, we find the venue but there is city parking like 5 blocks down the road and its a cold ass windy day and I am wearing baggy sweats, no undies and are in sandals..Yup totally makes sense-- walking through the city of Boston, with my hair pinned up in place, full face of makeup and holding two large bags around I walk to the venue.
835AM. Get to the venue, we part ways and I head to register and put my stuff down in the dressing room.
915AM. I need to get tanned. We aren't talking some vacation tan, I need to get sprayed as dark as possible to look like a char coaled human and stand around a fan, so I don't get the crappy tan on my clothes.
945AM. Still waiting around in front of the fan, mind you there are other girls around you standing in front of the fans. All of us butt naked, chilling and hoping our tans get dry soon so we can continue on our day without trying to rub off our tans. (for those that don't know, this sucks and you can't get WATER on this tan..this makes for having to pee later in the day even more that awesome..more in a bit.)
1015AM. I finish checking and and getting my membership card for NPC. Competitors are in the audience area and things are starting to get exciting. Everyone is tanned and walking around in large sweat pants. (lots of attractive, tanned, muscle meats heads everywhere..) ;-)
1030AM. Compeitor meeting to discuss the day. More of a BS session, but all good.
1100AM. Show starts and like 25+ other classes I watch which is pretty interesting in itself, let me tell you. The different bodies and knwoing the dedication for something like that is something we all could admire while there. Everyone had some sort of food container on them or water jug, so everyone understood the struggle.
1200PM Last meal and last few rice cakes before I could go on, so I could fill in some more.
12-330PM. I pretty much watching the classes still, I start sweating around my leg area and realize oh crap, there goes some of my tan.
330PM. I have to pee. When you sign up for these things and your coach tells you, when you have to use the bathroom you cannot pee regular, why not? Cause if you get water on your tan your screwed and it will SHOW. Well, guess what, I didn't manage to pee on myself, but I did manage to wipe off some of the tan on my pants after I washed my hands, so I had to get this fixed.
345PM. I get my tan fixed by the lovely tan people, and allow them to apply butt glue to my suit. YUP that was an awesome experience.
400PM. I start my massive wait to get on stage. There is a billion bikini girls and we are broken up into heights. Mind you the short divisions have more in them and the competition is a little harder since that makes it harder for the judges. At this point I am sick of waiting and my Feet and my hungry/thirst start to kick in. I can feel my brain getting a little weak and my muscle start to deflate.
445PM. Yes I FINALLY step On stage. This is some scary shit let me tell you. Trying to strut my stuff and look at the judges, make eye contact, smile, keep my arches, suck in my stomach, show my angles and muscles..and rest of my posing down..while watching the judges TEXT right in front of you. Thanks buddy I am glad your actually paying attention. I go ahead and do my "booty pop, bend over pose.." and go to look over my shoulder, now I can see the entire audience. Yup--I should not have done that, now I am nervous and I go back to the line where I wait, until they call us out in groups to start the body comparisons. With this they move people back/forth to have a proper comparison of the different types of body types, heights, muscles, etc.
600PM. Show finally over and the guys are starting to come back on stage, for the FINAL performance--which starts at 6. All the call outs and whatnot, were up next. Which is another 4-6 hours depending on how quick, this show goes a bit faster.
1000PM. Did I win? No. I got a few call outs, yes. But from what I could see there is a theme of the night and maybe I did have too much muscle for the division I was in. My body is what it is, and I am grateful for that. I am BY no means a skinny person, but built like a brick house. But the top five girls, were tall skinny girls, with slight muscle definition.
1030PM. Left and headed out with my friend and got a burger, fries and a glass of wine. Was pretty amazing meal, I especially ate it pretty slow and INDULGED eating it and took it in!! Mind you have not had my favorite meal in like 6+ months.
1130PM. I take a shower and my entire tan goes down the DRAIN just like that. YEA!! I am not longer looking like a tanned orange person, although I felt it was sorta crazy that it didn't last a few days, especially for the amount of money it cost.
1145PM. I head to bed and FINALLY drink some water.
Well that's the day in a nutshell, I hope to write more about the experience and my final thoughts on the entire process, but I need to eat more and FIX my mental/physical status of feeling like an emaciated brain dead skinny person. I have no idea how people don't eat, or not EAT every few hours. Those people are crazy to me. Anyway, write more later on the topic and whatever else I feel that should be discussed.

Friday, November 13, 2015

#1 Day out.

One day out. Yes its TOMORROW. Not to mention the diet has put my body into hyper drive. I am eating literally 8-9 times a day, and I have already drank a gallon of water already and its not even 1 pm. So as you could guessed I am running around stuff as hell and not venturing too far from the bathroom. My bag is packed, ready to do this. As I wake up daily this week I have noticed changes daily, from the high carb days, low and no carbs and back to recycling back to high carb days. Pretty amazing stuff. Looking forward to tomorrow and any drama, or negativity can flake off. Already had to deal with some crazy whackadoo family member, which will remain nameless that was telling me I was doing something completely crazy. Thanks, you could of waited until next week darling huh? Gotta love people. Anywho-- eating, drinking away and resting before I head up to Boston. Wish me Luck! I will be posting pictures tomorrow throughout the day of the exciting day!!

Monday, November 9, 2015

Peak Week. Feeling Weak.

Well its here. Whether you know it is or not, your suddenly just eating chicken and asparagus, while you water consumption has reached well over a gallon a day. Going out makes for a comical time, since trying to explain how you want food prepared, makes it pretty much not worth it and you just eat home all the time. You cannot do anything you want, your constantly asking how certain things are made and asking if it can be made "healthier". I like to live a life of a healthy balance normally, but I found in order to be in full control as I am you need to have a strong mind. Which is easier said than done.

Work outs are easy, staying active, cardio, but diet is single handed can be the most difficult portion. There is just so much awesome food out there. And I truly miss pizza and cookies smile emoticon I can't wait to start lifting heavy again, building back up, and getting my "ass" back where it needs to be. Feeling weak with a strict diet is emotional draining and physically test of wills. I have literally no cognitive mental capacity this week, so I am hoping things don't get too stressful and do taxing, since I can't handle anything too great. Brain needs carbs and fats, its just that simple. At this point I am dumber than a monkey and weak as hell. I hate that feeling. Sure I have abs--but at what cost?
So next time you look at those ads and magazines of those perfect abs are you willing to give up your diet for 6 months and confine it to a certain food groups. Takes time, patience, proper planning. Sure I will do it again, since I like this sorta experiment. For anyone saying I am too small for my contest prep, they can simply go to hell, since I will be back to my old self in a few weeks with enough muscle to rock and roll- them off a cliff. And of course more blog posts, about the negative impact of body image. I have further more broke all my nails this week from all sorts of stress between trying to maintain my lifestyle around this prep. My two jobs, animals, work training (studying for a MAJOR test certification for work) and my friends/family. Through this whole thing I had to deal with death, within the family, nieces in/out of the hospital (which truly sucks!) and still being able to stick to my workouts--as well as prepping my food.

Takes real mental power to do this. I know not everyone can do this, but I am not your normal chick by any means.