Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Live, Learn. Lessons Learned From Divorce.

There are so many adventures I could discuss. I could write about fitness all day, how to shape those buns of steel, how to chisel hard rock abs and pretty much any other way to stay fit. But to save my own tail, apparently I failed to save my own sanity quick enough by staying in an unhealthy situation.

I have found that there are many women and men, that are starring at the wall, pretty much pondering the same life question. “Is this really it? Why do I feel so alone..?” Regardless of your financial situation or anything like that, it doesn’t matter, towards the end of something specifically a marriage you to try to rationalize a lot. There are so many items you can try to decide you will put up with, but when it’s time to end it, you do. You break it apart. Lots of people find themselves in a pretty awful situation. Would you rather be in a terrible marriage or alone? I know for I being alone was the best decision for me regardless. I am sure it is different for everyone, but in my eyes my own sanity, my lifestyle and my health it was the best decision breaking away from a completely negative situation.

For starters money doesn’t buy happiness of any kind. Sure two working professionals can make good bank, but in reality it doesn’t provide anymore love, caring or respect on a day to day life. I know plenty of people dirt poor and are happy as a pig in shit, but two of us were never able to figure it out even though we could pretty much buy it all.

Leaving money aside looks. It sure is a good cover for a lot. Pretty face can get you only so far. You can be only so attractive, and if you add in negative qualities, you truly see how much of an ugly person you could be. How good looking are they after they are yelling, demeaning you in front of friends and family, or even blaming you? Doesn’t matter how you look at it, you can fall just as madly in love with an ugly guy that makes you feel pretty incredible, which is supportive. That alone can make them pretty attractive at the end of the day.

Money, Check, Looks Checks. Onto sex. Sure a good romp in the sack is a great thing, but its just sex if there is no meaning, no feeling or any passion. It’s just two bodies. No soul. No heart. Doesn’t matter how good you are at sex, if your partner treats you disrespectfully, it’s not worth it at all and takes away from it completely.

From time to time you can start to think about the good times and remember when. “O yea, he was great..during xyz..” But what about the time he forgot about your birthday or a holiday, or told you that you didn’t deserve a present for whatever reason for Christmas. Little things at the end of the day are what matter. I don’t need anyone being discouraging, disrespectful or insulting. You can’t change how people are and you need to accept that. We all change in some way, whether you grow together or grow apart. You have to accept this.

Another wonderful fantastic point for me anyway I had no children with my ex husband. Sure I know we tried and whatnot, but really I am so glad we don't have that kinda of attachment holding us down for the next 20 years or whatever. That would of been worse. As much as I would love to have some offspring, having kids to save a marriage or hold someone down to stay with me isn't how I want to roll or even set an example for my future kids like that. My self worth is beyond anything like that and I am far from a walking uterus for anyone. If I want a kid I will do that myself, no man needed. Mind you this is my opinion, and others can do as they want, (i'm sure they have reasons, cash, get people to stay, whatever..) but in my eyes bringing in another life into this world while you are already having problems and NOT in love with that person, is just a setup for complete disaster.
There is no amount of anything to stay in a negative situation. Alone really is not as scary. I was far more alone being married any day. You learn to deal with it all, yourself. Things may seem daunting, but like anything else you can learn. New bills, less money coming in, smaller home, whatever.. You can deal with it. You know why? Your peace of mind is worth a fortune. I could have stayed in my marriage but I choose to move on, regardless of how you decide to end it or I did it—doesn’t matter, its about your happiness, sanity, and knowing enough when to walk away. I respect myself far too much to be dragged under.